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Optimism is denial

Most of my closest friends know, na..Im not really in good shape. For the last couple of days, I've been trying to cheer myself up. Trying to look at things at a different perspective. I tried to,, uhh, deal with whats happening on a positive note. Which means, no reminiscing and just for this time, I tried not to regret anything. I tried, I succeeded just for a little while. Pero after some time, I came to realize, Who the fuck am I kidding? I'm not as happy as i think i am. I'm definitely not depressed to the point of attempting suicide, but I definitely feel heavy.

As of this moment, I have no idea on how i'd be spending my 2weeks off school considering my shitty condition. How the fuck am i supposed to keep myself busy stuck at home. Ayoko na powzszz. Can't i just skip the part where it should hurt like hell and move on already. @-)

Im trying. Do me a favor please, don't be so kind. As in, be mean, ignore me. whatever. Persuade me to give up. I need that. Being lead on's the last thing i need right now.

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dumbnotjuvenile
dumbnotjuvenile

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